Things I wish I knew going into dealing with a chronic illness

If you are suffering chronic pain, anxiety, depression, fatigue, and so forth, I feel you. I know how debilitating each day can be and you do your best anyway. I know how desperate for relief you are, and how you will try any medication or procedure for the hope of relief. After years of this, I want to share with you what I’ve learned and how to skip a few painful lessons on your own health journey.

The first and most important lesson is to get professional guidance!

I’m considered a medical professional but this isn’t medical advice, just my own experiences. Even though I have medical knowledge and thought I could do this on my own, I needed help. I went to specialty after specialty after realizing I needed help, but finding the right help is the next step. I have another blog post on all of the doctors I’ve rotated through if you need help deciding where to start. From both ends of the spectrum of western medicine to anything Holistic, a naturopath has been the most helpful for me.

Commit to your health as the #1 priority.

This one is hard. I know a lot of you are moms and have to work 40 hours a week to pay bills. But try your best to put yourself first. Let it be okay — the house will stay dirty and accept it’s not worth exhausting yourself more. Being a perfectionist with a chronic illness is hard, but you also learn what is a priority and what’s not.

You have to continue to put yourself first, even on hard days when you want to give up and let it all take its course. I would try something new that someone recommended or that I read and committed to, but it wouldn’t work. At the end of each trial I was still sick; I would say it’s in my head and I would give up, then repeat. Commit to your health. You owe it to yourself and your family, and you are worth it. Being run-down with brain fog and pain is not okay; no matter how many of your friends also suffer like this, it’s not normal. It may be a simple fix – as little as a diet or attitude change or as big as a chemical imbalance or infection. Either way, invest the money in a practitioner. It’s so helpful to have someone give you guidance rather than guessing yourself. Being let down time and time again only adds to the depression of feeling ill.

Stop letting what others thing about you matter.

Guess what — it doesn’t matter. You matter and your health matters. In a year, the opinions of others will mean nothing compared to having your mental and physical health. Yes, you have your tribe of people, and you NEED them or someone on this journey to support you, but at the end of the day, YOUR health mentally and physically is what is important. By letting yourself care about what other people think, you allow doubt and negativity in. You do you, and you’ll find yourself. As soon as I stopped caring about others’ judgements toward me is when I started reaching out to the right people and finding actual answers and seeing progress. Nothing is worse than thinking others assume you are a hypochondriac and it’s all in your head, but it’s your body and you are trying the best you can. You have to believe in yourself; you know your body the best.

Patience

This is the hardest one, the one I still struggle with. Especially if you’ve been struggling with something for a while and feel like you’ve tried everything, you have to give everything a few months, not days or weeks. This is the hard part because it takes time. But this is why it’s important to get the proper guidance. With the proper help, you minimize wasting time trying to tackle this all on your own. The more you fail and continue to suffer, the more fear for the future, depression, and anxiety is created. You have to believe in the process, but having help getting there is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s worth every dime to minimize the time it takes to heal yourself and get you to your best self.

Your food and environment are essential to your recovery.

It’s okay to eat out and enjoy yourself. You don’t have to go vegan or never eat your favorite food again, but you do have to be aware of proper nutrition and the toxins in the standard American’s diet. The food we feed ourselves and things we put in and on our bodies has been shown to harm us dramatically. Here’s an old post on how to live a chemical-free lifestyle. It’s hard at first, but it’s worth feeling better. This one is important and can be the hardest for a lot of people. Even before learning my blood nutrition results from my practitioner, I ate healthy. But sometimes what you think is healthy isn’t for you — another reason why it’s worth the time and money to have someone run these tests for you.

It’s so important to know what your gut and body actually need. I’ve written a previous post on the importance of avoiding preservatives and eating organic foods. When you feed your gut, you truly are feeding your health. The gut-brain connection is a proven yet ignored thing. Your diet can dramatically change your mentality and decrease inflammation in your body. By fixing our diet, we eliminate the cause of many “symptoms” that we are put on medications for. Eating well gives your body the fighting chance to work in synergy, to heal, and to provide us with the best health we can give ourselves. I know it sounds easier than it is, but start small. Small wins lead to big changes!

Your mindset is everything.

If you know me, you hear me preach about mindset and the importance of good energy and healing. You don’t have to be as spiritual as me, but your mind is truly a powerful thing. Meditation, yoga, gardening, etc. are all great relaxing tools and are needed to help your mind heal. Check out this old post on the importance of your parasympathetic nervous system and tips on staying grounded.

I’m not saying these steps are the all cure — but it could save you a lot of time and money by avoiding the months of medication trials, diets, and specialists.

My personal health journey has led me to a naturopath practitioner. She was able to connect all of my issues to Epstein-barr Virus (EBV). This virus is commonly known as “mono.” 90% of the population has had it and carries antibodies for it. Most people’s immune systems handle this fine. For others it creates havoc in the body, triggering gut issues, brain fog, pain, depression, and autoimmune issues. Your body fights itself, depleting the thyroid and adrenals, and your body continues to get sicker with no explanation. The research done on this is crazy — yet western medicine ignores this virus because as mentioned above, most people carry the antibodies and are fine. But there are a lot of chronically ill people out there, and the way we eat and live our lives these days trigger the illness to become more and more active, oxidizing and depleting our bodies. Feel free to contact me because I would love to help you heal as food is honestly the best way to do so with any inflammatory virus.

Thanks for reading and I hope you start to feel better soon. I can’t wait to post about my healing journey and all its success and hear about others! Stay positive and keep fighting; you’re worth it ❣️

Compassion and Happiness

I use to have a hard time having compassion for others while I am suffering myself. This was unknowingly selfish of me, because others have great compassion for me by listening to me while I am still throwing myself a pity party. I’m not saying don’t complain, because struggling day to day silently is also not healthy. It’s healthy and okay to reach out and talk to others about your struggles. Compassion can lead you to happiness. Whether it be in relationships with your friends or family, into your work or environment etc. By including this into your daily life you can change your mindset by changing your behaviors. Being a nurse I naturally have compassion for others, but meaning it is different. It takes time to mean it, but it’s necessary to help you heal from your own pain.

If you have chronic pain, anxiety and/or depression, you wouldn’t wish it upon anyone…I hope 😉. No one chooses unhappiness over happiness. Suffering with these ailments makes life suck or seem not worthwhile some days. Becoming compassionate for others helps you become more present and appreciative of your surroundings outside your pain. You learn empathy and are able to connect with others and stop focusing all on your struggles.

Pain, anxiety and depression all hit similar transmitters and parts of our brain. Our gut helps impact all of these three as well. It’s hard to work towards rewiring our brain and healing our gut until your able to get your mind into a more positive mindset.

By showing compassion and being able to empathize with someone else’s struggles you are able to take a break from yours and stop feeling and wishing for your own struggles to end and wish for another’s happiness. You are triggering other parts of your mind and are tuning into being more aware. Mindset can impact our lives tremendously. It doesn’t get rid of our issues, but it does open our eyes making us more aware that we can control our body more than we think. We can help stop our thoughts from going down into that dark tunnel of sadness and self pity. When you express compassion or do something go for others for no reason…you feel good right? You trigger endorphins and you become full of happy fuzziness and are able to sit up straighter and think clearer. Now I’m not telling you to donate all your money to charity, but to simply do more kind gestures to others.

It’s hard to listen, to want to do things for others, to actually care for others while you are struggling. It’s hard to get the feeling of happiness and joy for others when you yourself are hurting. But with more practice your mindset will shift. Your compassion towards others will help lower your pain, anxiety and/or depression or maybe all three! It’s not a magic answer or quick fix. As I said earlier, no one chooses to be unhappy.

So choose to feel happiness and give compassion a try. You have nothing to lose by being kind to others. You’ll gain more connections with friends and strangers, you’ll learn more about your true self and you will see happiness on others faces which will in turn bring you joy.

Healing your pain is not always an easy fix, a quick pill or diet. It’s a journey and hard work physically and mentally. Nourish your body with good food and energy. Life is worth living, and it’s worth being able to enjoy a happy more present life ❣️ Namaste 🙏🏻

Acceptance

This is something I’m still working on, but I have came a long way and so can you. Since I can remember I was always trying to fit in. Never confident of my own choices, outfits, likes and dislikes. Instead of believing in yourself you begin to look for acceptance from others. This is natural, but it’s gotten to an unhealthy point in the world. Social media isn’t going away but our children need to learn to believe in theirselves. Of course there are morals of right and wrong, but being embarrassed of who you are is not a way to feel at any age.

I have always cared so much of what others thought. The music I liked, how I dressed, how I looked and so on. Instead of listening to the people’s thoughts who actually mattered who have always told me “it doesn’t matter what others think”. I have never really been confident, and have been self conscious most of my life.

I really cared what people thought about me and my pain. Afraid people thought i was attention seeking. But honestly, not hiding the pain and talking about how I am “actually” feeling has opened eyes to others but mainly myself. Life has become much easier since I have accepted my feelings and truths. I have accepted this is my body, these are the issues and things need altered. Notice how I did not say changed or fixed.

It can and did take a long journey of doctors and medications before this realization and acceptance came. Refusing to accept this being my normal and the pain. By accepting you are able to look deeper into your self for a root cause, as it may be a deeper and harder thing to fix than a quick pill.

I have accepted my love for health, Hollistic medicine and healing. By accepting it’s okay to believe in what you love with no judgement. I know my Hollistic and spiritual beliefs may not be believed by others, but I have accepted this fact and don’t care! I actually don’t care what others think. I respect their thoughts and I believe my journey has led me here, to a place of healing and progress.

Many spend all their money and time focusing on the “fix”. Some times things don’t need changed, some byproducts of our life and mind can simply spiral our body and sometime lives out of control. I spent thousands on medical doctors before finally seeking a naturopathic doctor, which in the long run would have been cheaper and on the road to my best self sooner.

Being unbalanced for so long can absolutely lead to health issues and diseases. Being balanced is not an easy task. Especially with all our processed foods and chemicals, it becomes easier and easier for people to fall out of balance. People are experiencing emotions and pain more and more these days. Which leads them to doctor to doctor, medication to medication. If this sounds like you and you are reading this looking for a quick fix (a supplement or diet) even though nothing is working, I challenge you to look deeper.

Look to see if you accept who you are and your thoughts and desires. If you are not ready to accept them then why? The answer is within you and you may not even know it.

I refused to have my rest of life in the amount of pain I am in, understandable. But the route of spending thousands and thousands of dollars, trying every herbal supplement and diet around wasn’t the answer. This just led to further frustration, anxiety and depression. It wasn’t until I believed in myself that I made some positive strides. Maybe it was a big combination of issues over the years that led me to where I am, but I feel all the chronic pain folks are always grasping at straws as I have. It’s not just one thing or one answer, it’s years of combined and ignored issues that built up and more sensitive over time.

If your know me, you probably know my love for Yoga, Ayurveda and chakra energy. All of these things are combined mainly with digestion and energy being are life forth. Allowing us to dictate and heal our bodies by nourishing our bodies with the food that is needed to keep us balanced and by opening the line of energy though the body. Energy and gut health is the basis to almost every other countries medical treatment but ours. People walk around with blocked energy for years before realizing they have the power to balance their own lives, naturally. With simple diet changes, meditations and mantras. Again this is not a quick fix. It’s amazing with ancient knowledge how this easy medicine is not used more. By realizing your “issues” you can find what is unbalanced and blocked. By establishing these connections, you are able to actually find answers. Not hypothesized ideas that this medication or procedure could help you. Actual proof of millions over the years and results. I’m not healed, but I’m on my journey of getting there. I hope my journey can help lessen the time it takes you to live your best life, as I can’t wait to truly live mine.

People are going to judge you. It’s sadly to egotistical world we live in. Not everyone is going to love what you do. But people also don’t like when people are trying to hard to fit in. Being genuine and honest is much more becoming to others and on your soul. The more you believe this, the easier you will be on yourself, and one day be carefree of what others think of you!

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Back to the basics

As we go through this trying time of COVID-19, I feel that we are all going back to our roots. We are connecting with others more as well as ourselves. Emotionally, Spiritually, and Physically. We are becoming aware of how important it is to have a clear mind. Mentality is a crazy strong power that we control. It’s very easy to lose control of this in our egocentric world. Spiritually, we have to have faith that this too shall pass and we can fight this. Physically it’s teaching us how important it is to nurture our bodies. We’re reminded of the chemicals and dangers that we have been putting into our world. It’s a stressful and unknown time, but it’s also an eye-opening, self-reflecting time.

Having a hard time staying grounded?

The easiest and cheapest way to get connected to “your roots” and to ground yourself is by exploring nature!

  • Plant something: Not everyone has a green thumb so start with easy things. Plant succulents or get a snake or pothos plant. If the frost has passed, plant some wild flowers and easy gardening veggies, like squash and cucumbers. Nourishing and caring for something as a seed and watching it grow gives you so much gratitude as well as confidence in yourself and in working with nature in general. Plus it’s much healthier and cheaper to eat food that you grow vs the chemically-sprayed stuff 😉.
  • Forest bathing: Forest bathing is simply “taking in the forest” and is a free way to connect with nature. It has been shown to dramatically change our brain chemicals in positive ways. By consciously connecting with nature, you are able to calm your thoughts and “gerbil mind” to appreciate the little things in nature — things that our great ancestors had and were able to also enjoy. It’s quite amazing when we think about it!
  • Plant medicine: Now don’t go around eating random mushrooms; start with common, easy-to-grow or naturally occurring herbs such as rosemary, basil, mint, and dandelions. If you don’t have these options then good grade, safe therapeutic essential oils are great for this. You can ingest them (cook with them) or simply enjoy them topically or with aromatherapy through a diffuser. The simplicity of smelling the aromas of the herbs ignites all our senses. This opens your mind and spirit while allowing you to calm and quiet your thoughts. Find joy in whatever you are doing — eating, massaging, bathing, diffusing — while enjoying the great smells and energy! In Ayurveda, there is a term called “ama,” which translates to toxins and bad energy that build up in your body. By increasing our good vibrations or “prana” (good energy), our minds and moods are boosted. Simply by cooking with herbs, you can remove ama and increase prana, thereby grounding yourself. Being thankful for the nature of it and putting good intentions into your cooking can go a long way! It sounds silly, but it’s free — so why not try it?
  • Moon cycles: This is also free! You can spend some time outside stargazing and enjoying the fresh air at night. This is fun while learning and might give you flashbacks to middle school astronomy classes. There are a ton of apps and online resources for this. I use the app Moonology. You can track the moon phases which give off energy and provide so much for us in nature. This practice incorporates the known things — such as the tides, planting, and harvesting — as well as wishes and intuitive stuff that you may or may not be interested in or believe in. Horoscopes also fall in this category, which is a whole science of its own.

The importance of our health during this time

Most of us know how important it is to eat healthy and exercise, but over the years, it’s gotten more complicated when it should be easy! Eat more fruit and veggies, exercise, drink water… Sounds basic, right? We are “going back to basics.” As a society we are learning to garden and make more and more at home, which is great. But no supplement, medication, or food is going to make you a healthier person unless you mentally and physically change your mind and lifestyle. I am guilty of this and have spent endless amounts of money on herbs and vitamins looking for a quick fix, when ultimately I just needed to fix my diet and my gut biome while throwing out all of the junk and preservatives in my pantry that have became common staples in our diets! Check out my last post if you want help transforming your lifestyle into a healthier one.

Sympathetic vs Parasympathetic

I’m not sure if everyone knows the difference, so I’ll explain this in layman’s terms to help you understand the toll that stress places on your body.

  • The Sympathetic Nervous System is the “fight-or-flight” part of your body. We too commonly live in a stressed and anxious state these days, especially if you suffer chronic pain like I do. Being in this mode more often than you should messes up your hormones. This is because you are constantly releasing cortisol and causing adrenal fatigue. You are also messing up your gut because you can’t digest properly if your body is always in that “fight-or-flight” mode, leading to nutrient deficiencies or a leaky gut. Simply put, it’s not good on any part of your body. Every single organ and cell is affected by a constant activation of our sympathetic nervous system. How do we turn this off if we’re always so stressed? To start, we need to learn how to turn on our parasympathetic nervous system. If you are thinking, “Oh my — this sounds like me,” then you should first seek medical help as I’m not a doctor. This is just what’s worked for me and is not medical advice.
  • The Parasympathetic Nervous System is what we know as the “rest and digest” part of your body. This is the mode that you should be in mainly when your body is balanced. When you become stressed, live in chronic pain, or have bad anxiety, your body becomes sensitive and lingers in the fight-or-flight mode all the time. I learned about this way too late in life, leaving me with tight muscles, bad posture, bad breathing, and worsening pain. If you are falling or have fallen down this path, don’t ignore the warning signs. Luckily, there are free and easy ways to improve:
    • Mediation
    • Yoga (especially restorative)
    • Essential oils
    • Diaphragm breathing
    • Avoiding multitasking and over-stimulating tasks

Granted, we all work or have kids running around, which almost makes this impossible. Well, this is why self-care was invented and has become such a big part of combating today’s stigma. You can spend an hour on yoga, use oils at work, or even download a meditation app and just give 1% of your day to it. It’s easier than you think. That negative attitude isn’t going to help you get out of that fight-or-flight mode! Heal your body and take some time for yourself. Go back to the basics 😉

The vicious migraine cycle

Everyone’s migraines are different, their are so many different kinds of migraines, different pains and symptoms. I love reading the research and notice my cravings and odd behaviors before and after my attack are common. It’s even harder if you have chronic migraines and your are constantly cycling through the four stages of migraines. It’s difficult when you aren’t sure if it’s going away or coming back. It’s all apart of a learning curve while you figure out how to heal and help your body.

Here are the four stages of a Migraine. As migraine wasn’t complicated enough. It may be helpful to realize one is coming and if medications work for you, you may be able to prevent a full blown attack.

These stages of pain and discomfort that can play out for an entire week plays a toll on anyone’s emotions. Especially if they cycle over and over again like I’ve experienced. I know when I get into my migraine phase I feel all the emotions I hate feeling.

I begin feeling:

  • Envy: envious of others for not having to deal with this pain.
  • Guilty: I’m guilty that I am on the couch and not helping around the house, with family, or any other activity that I planned.
  • Anger: Angry that I am sick like this.
  • Depressed: Why is my life like this, why is nothing working.

It’s hard to pull yourself back from these emotions. It’s completely acceptable to feel all these emotions. But the important part is to not let the emotions win. You have to become stronger than your emotions. Accept and feel them for a little and then realize that feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to help you get better. Being strong and fighting is the only way you are going to figure out and heal your headache and body.

I was using my mediation app after a rough migraine attack. They used a Sanskrit word in the session, which is is exactly what I needed to hear to help me get out of my funk. Mudita. Feeling unselfish joy and good fortune for others. When you let yourself accept the emotions of pain, jealously, sadness…it’s easy to not feel joy for others. Especially when you can’t feel this for your self. But this is what you need to do, or at least work on to pull yourself out of the rut and get back on track to positive thoughts and your own version of joy. This will help you continue to work on your journey which will only help you and healing your self.

What is being present to you?

First off what is being “present” ? More and more people are using this word, making this their goal, but what does it mean? This word I’m sure has a google definition, but it is whatever it means to you. To me being present is to give all of your mind and self to the current situation. Being mentally aware of your surroundings and simply being joyful for what life presents you.

This can be hard for us to do in our busy lifestyles. We were all raised to be thankful but we were also raised to get our lists and chores done. It’s hard to breathe some days when life hits you and the list gets longer. When you feel this overwhelmed feeling is when you need to pause and appreciate “the little things”. Something I blogged about a few blogs back, and doing so allowing yourself to be present.

Think of where you have the most stress in your day and how you can mold it into a positive by being present. If you feel stress at work (most of us), start with something small. First off, take that lunch break that you don’t get paid for. Do some breathe work, meditate, go outside, put on some essential oils and get off your phone. Read a book or journal. Enjoy your food instead of shoveling it in. A harder one to build up to, but is most important to me, is to eat alone. You are with these people all day, you need a break to be present and reconnect with yourself. It will help lower your stress of your work day and it allows you to just enjoy your time alone and b r e a t h e. If you are eating with coworkers, simply get off your phone, make eye contact to your colleagues and engage in a conversation that brings you away from work (meaning not gossiping about work or your annoying client/patient). We are all guilty of lunch time gossiping. At home start with a routine something small such as journaling, morning tea or meditation and work up to a bigger commitment such as hiking in nature daily.

In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, and forget about the joy of just being

Eckhart Tolle

For my pain sufferers, I know this is easier said than done. Turning off your mind while your right in the middle of your pain cycle can be hard. My mind is constantly going to that annoying noise, smell or trigger to my migraines. Putting me in a downward spiral and allowing my anxiety to surface, allowing the fear of the pain that is going to come enter. When you realize you are doing this, stop, turn off the hamster wheel in tour head and ACCEPT you cannot change or avoid every environment that has triggers. Personally, when I catch myself in this downward spiral or if I’m already suffering in pain at work I pause, and allow myself to be present. Look around at your day. What have you gotten done, look at the positives and just be thankful for your day so far. My pain is a huge part of my life, but it doesn’t control me. Some days it does, but it does not and will not control my life. I can control how I react.

If you know me personally you would never know how much pain I’m in. I mask it well until it’s too much for me to get through and am stuck on the couch with ice over my eyes. I’m not saying ignore the pain. Ignoring it was a bad mistake I did for years. Accept that you are in pain but you are in control of your mind, and let it know you are boss. But more importantly not letting it ruin every day of your life. Enjoy being present and what it in front of you, instead of retreating and sorrowing in pain.

The importance of the “small things”

I am not sure if it’s my life in chronic pain or just me getting older, but the quote, “it’s the little things that matter most” couldn’t be more true. The annoying voice that gives me anxiety about don’t do that it could give you a headache, or for most people the voice is saying you need to do ______ fill in the blank before today is over. This voice needs to be put aside. I have my best days when I abandon that voice and just live and appreciate everything put in front of me. From a beautiful sunrise and being able to watch mother nature wake up, to someone simply holding the door for you or when something just goes right. These are the little things that make you pause and smile. The laundry can wait, even though it kills the OCD part of me, so can the dishes and so can the store trips.

Feeding your body, being clean, being mentally and physically in shape and present is what is important. The little things in life give us gratitude. And being grateful for the little things can change your outlook on life. Although a clean house and checking off a list for example sure gives us the feeling of gratitude, and seems very important, it’s not. The self caused stress of cleaning or getting the checklists done is not a priority. I’m guilty and still learning that it is important to do things on its own time, when you simply have the time, and not stressing about if it. If you have the time great, if not don’t stress out your body, your emotions and affect the others around you. Yes lists are good, but treat them as goals not requirements for the day.

Because being present and enjoying life allows you to be happier than a clean house and a checklist done can give you.

Is there such thing as a waste of time?

This is something I’ve been debating lately. Having a “chronic illness” or figuring out what’s going on can be expensive medically. A lot of different specialists are consulted and time is spent during this process. Some doctors require you to see them weekly and/or need you to perform tests for an evaluation. Sadly, a lot of these specialists have great reviews and recommendations but don’t always accept insurance. It’s frustrating to spend so much money on hope and no guaranteed answers.

But one of these visits has to work and it will all be worth it, right? One of the books I’m reading says to imagine yourself with your wishes granted. Every time I picture myself pain-free and truly happy in true bliss, I cry. The joy of a pain-free life and the possibility that one of these doctors will be worth it makes the waste of time and even harder waste of money worth it.

It has to all be worth it. I have many years ahead of me to live happily as a wife and hopefully as a mother. We all deserve the chance of pure bliss. Keep fighting warriors 👍🏻